Bangladeshi national Rakibul Hasan Ridoy came to Finland to work, but a racially motivated stabbing last summer left him unable to return to his job.
Now he fears being deported due to employment requirements for his residence permit.
One day last June, a 15-year-old boy wearing a t-shirt with a Waffen SS symbol rode his bicyle towards downtown Oulu. He also had a swastika-adorned knife with him.
Ten kilometres into his journey the boy's bike broke down, so he made the rest of the trip on foot.
In a post on Telegram, the teen proclaimed that was looking to kill a dark-skinned person, suggesting he might even take a selfie with his victim—if there was enough time.
"I want to kill him and go to jail," he posted, at around the time when Ridoy was getting out of work for the day.
Separately, they both headed towards the entrance of the Valkea shopping centre, the same place where a neo-Nazi named Sebastian Lämsä stabbed a 12-year-old of foreign background the previous week.
As he was entering the mall, Ridoy said he felt a sudden sharp pain in his upper arm. Then he saw a teenager holding a knife who stabbed him two more times.
Ridoy said his first instinct was to escape as fast as possible.
The wounded man rushed towards an escalator leading down to a supermarket, where a worker started helping him. Soon, others also arrived to help.
He began losing consciousness as they applied pressure to his wounds.
He still isn't sure what happened next, but said there was a lot of blood.
Police and paramedics arrived at the scene shortly afterwards. Security guards had caught Ridoy's suspected attacker outside.
With three stab wounds in his upper arm, Ridoy was then taken to hospital.
On his third day of recovery he was discharged, and now says the ordeal could have been worse.
He suspects that he survived the knife attack because he was wearing a backpack.
"If it hadn't been there, he might have hit my back," he pondered.
Now, around a year since the attack, Ridoy says his arm still bothers him when he is lifting heavy things or accidentally sleeps on the wrong side.
The physical injury was just part of the damage.
"He tried to kill me," he said, adding that the attack has damaged his mental health, as well as his life.
Ridoy said he has been unable to return to work because the trauma has caused constant fear.
"I'm afraid someone will come from behind. Or from the right, or the left. Sometimes my whole body shakes," he explained.
Walking through the city, Ridoy sometimes finds it difficult to breathe. Eventually he moved out of town— but that didn't help either.
"I can't go out alone. I'm afraid of going shopping for example, because I don't know who is behind me," he said, adding that those kinds of thoughts have been continual.
In December, Ridoy saw his teenage assailant for the first time since the attack.
The boy was remotely attending a district court hearing from the Niuvanniemi psychiatric hospital in Kuopio.
Ridoy said seeing his attacker was an emotional experience. He heard testimony that the teen had been talking about carrying out a violent attack just before the assault unfolded.
He heard that his 15-year-old assailant had been looking for a dark-skinned person, in order to avenge "what they have done to my race and people".
Riboy said he wonders how many other people in the city are walking around with similar thoughts.
"I just don't understand where those ideas come from," Ridoy said, adding that he thinks Finland's culture, administration, nature and people were otherwise good.
Oulu District Court dismissed an attempted murder charge, ruling instead that the teenage defendant was guilty of attempted manslaughter committed as a criminally unaccountable young person, citing a lack of evidence presented in the case that the act was deliberately premeditated.
The teen was ordered to pay Ridoy more than 18,000 euros in damages, including for his injuries and loss of earnings. The teen was also ordered to be held at the psychiatric facility.
While the court decision is final, Ridoy now worries that his situation could endanger his future in Finland, due to the conditions of his temporary residence permit.
Starting this summer, foreign residents in Finland could face deportation if they are unemployed for three or six months, depending on the type of residence permit.
"If there are problems with my visa, how could I continue recovering? I don't know," he said, adding that all he wants is to live a normal, peaceful life again.
However, he said that he is thankful for the assistance he has received in Finland, citing friendly help from the police, legal assistance and the justice system. He also praised the health care he received as well as therapy and conversational support.
Ridoy hopes that help will continue, saying that he is stressed about when it all might end.
"How much longer will they help me?"
